Tiredhappy.

2days
21hours.

I'm strangely happy. I don't know why, something just....shifted. The blinds haven't been fully opened to let the sun in yet, but it feels like someone cleaned the windows.

Banging on my rusty cradle bars.

It's 1pm. I have to be in town in 2 1/2 hours, and until then I still have to
.shower
.clean my room (and I mean REALLY clean it, it's gonna stay this way for the next MONTH!)
.put clothes on.

Oh well.
I'm on a high.
Uni is over, NZ is just around the corner, everything is fantastic.

Wag.

My betreuerinee stayed the night and we talked until half past 2 and I convinced her to wag.

No, really.

It was remarkable. Adam Green and clouds and so much to study, so much, honestly I don't know how I'm ever gonna fit it all into my head. Tomorrow, 8am, last exam. That rhymes.


Okay.

4 remarkable days and 21 very, very remarkable hours left until I leave. *eep*

Remarkably absent.

The past days have been remarkable in too many ways.
I got pulp'ed, I had my first exam, I craved meat.
I talked and I laughed and I worried. I'm so obsessive it's insane.
My sister e-mailed me.
I ate amazing salad.

Over sometimes.

On the outside I was calm and tetris-like and tired, but on the inside I was asking myself one question over and over again. And it was answered. And Simon knows what I'm talking about because of the title of this entry, so I won't go into much detail even though Simon doesn't read this blog.

Anyway.

I got enough sleep :)

And I'm going to study today. Yep. That is the plan.

In related news, I didn't drink last night *whoop* which I'm proud of. Not really, but it's a start. A start to a life without feeling like I'm missing out on things.
Not that I don't like drinking. I do. Sometimes. I just didn't want to be hung over today. So I just didn't drink. Growing up, I guess.

Food.

My mum sent me food. I love it.
I haven't really been eating healthy stuff lately... seeing as I mainly eat noodles, tomato sauce and toast. So I complained to my mum about it ^^ and she sent me the most gorgeous steak I've ever had in my life. It was glorious. It was. Amazing. I haven't eaten meat much lately either so I'd been craving one of those gloriously tasty steaks for a while now. Mmmh.
Headache is subsiding, which is good.
I slept until 3pm today.
I got an e-mail from my sister today and she's all good :) yay.

Right. Off to the Taverne zum güldenen Bären, where my friends are waiting for me.
That's right, I have friends. 3.

In our plight.

Idk.
He was here yesterday. That was nice. I think.
I had the first real talk with my flatmate in...in forever.

I also realized that people in general are really quite f*d up. Like. Seriously. I don't think I know many people who are completely intact and sane and happy. I wonder why that is.

Toaster.

on his head.
because of me.

Revelation.

Things are better this side of midnight.

8minutes.

'You are the greatest person I've ever met.
You're so great, you're like the Eiffel tower.
I never really liked you. *chuckles* But I think I discovered you for myself today.
I love you.'

I'm going to miss her so much.

She's so tiny.
She's so grown up.

I'm definitely going to miss her.

(ignore this)

I need to vent. Just a little. This is not part of the One Remarkable Year project.

Somuchtodogah. I can't. 6 pages of STUPID STUPID introduction with references to the literature we got but never read. Have to RE-DO most of my statistics thingies. All of that has to happen BEFORE I can go into town to do stuff I need to do, stuff I needed to do yesterday and stuff I want to do. Stuff I could've done yesterday, but oooooh, I was being lazy yesterday. Because I had a productive morning, I thought. Well apparently not, because I have to redo everything. Everything. Gah. I don't want to. I'm pissed off. I want to just DELETE THE WHOLE FILE and block every single person that's pressuring me from Skype and forget I'm even part of this. That is exactly what I want to do. There's no sour milk in the fridge and the coffee tastes horrible today. Coffee will taste horrible for a while, I feel, after I so grossly od'd yesterday.

Thank you. I'm done.

I woke up to this.

And it made me smile.
(part 2 is coming. sometime in the future)

The kids don't stand a chance.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah :)
it's 10am.
And already this day has been more than remarkable.

I got up at 4, 5, 6 and 7, then finally got up for real at quarter to 8. I've been very productive.
I talked to B. and J. on skype. Which was amazing, as always. J. and I are totally going to have a dance party next year. Whoop :D

BUT
THE MOST AMAZING THING
is that my sister got a family.
A huge family.
She's leaving for Panama on the 21st which is THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
and she finally got her family today. Nothing specific so far, we don't know anything, except that it's a pretty big family. And that it's hers.

Remarkable. And fantastic.

(Talk back soon, Sally.)

Without going home with you.

Chewing my lips. I'm on my second litre of water.

I saw E.'s kids today, and G.'s too, they're getting so big! They're adorable, all four of them. D. starts school this autumn, that's how old he is. I missed so much, I missed seeing them grow and I don't think they really know who I am. I still love them though.

I had a great time with my sister this weekend.

Chewing my mouth.

I'm way too tired for this. But I might get a job at my favourite cinema, which would be. out of this world.
I'm feeling the strange urge to go to New York, can anyone tell me why?

I looked out the window today and felt like an insignificant, tiny piece of the huge jigsaw puzzle that is this world. Maybe not this world, but this town. My face on my window, in a row of other windows, some lit, some dark. And you'd think that that sort of thing would make you feel bad...but it didn't. It was very comforting.

Comforting like Dawson's Creek. And I'm not even kidding.

Snorting the ashes (like).

I made amazing strudel today. Spinach. Feta. Strudel. It was mind-blowingly good.
(godblessme, I just sneezed.)

I looked at my sister today and I suddenly saw that she was leaving. It was a weird feeling, like someone was grabbing my heart and holding it in their hand.

I had a good but short conversation with J. today. They always are. Good, I mean.

I talked Economy with my parents today and it felt good, it felt like I actually had something to say. Keynes and Smith and Friedman and everything. Hell yes, I'm actually learning something at Uni ^^

I got into Dawson's Creek today. Watching the 6th season. It's horrible, yet so addictive.

Today was a day. And it only hurt a tiny bit, about half an hour ago. That's good :)

You lied to me.

I got an amazing head massage today. Oh the skillful hands of the hairdresser (who I'm angry at because she screwed up the colour of my streaks).

Also, I'm doing something I haven't done in a while. I'm enjoying a cool beer with no one but myself for company. Am I turning into an alcoholic? I hope not. I've never been drunk by myself, and I've only ever had a drink by myself one or two times.
I'm going out later tonight, so it shouldn't be so bad. I'm going to see M. later, possibly, and definitely my sister.

N. is going to Panama. She told me that she started packing today (she's such a goody-goody. I packed the night before I went to New Zealand). I'm going home home tonight, at about quarter to 10 pm.
A new Grey's Anatomy episode should be out today! Yay! Something to download and watch when I get home (home). Another thing that makes me happy.

Oh, and J. said 'ily' today. I like it when people love me. It feels good.

Lotterleben?

A couple of things made me happy today.
I smoked shisha while eating fabulous scrambled eggs with onions and cheese for lunch which is something I haven't done in ages. R., my flatmate's boyfriend, came round and we cooked together and talked. I'm glad we're friends, I like friends.
My room is clean and beautiful, coffee-scented candles are lit and I'm curled up on the couch, watching my 9th episode of 'House' for today. Sour milk with müsli and vanilla sugar. Life is good.
I didn't have any lectures today, and I'm still successfully ignoring the fact that exams are coming up.
My first-ever real Uni friend T. is going to visit later on tonight, which is exciting too. S. and R. should also show up soon, so I won't be alone for much longer. I don't really mind being alone that much...I'm alone, but I'm not lonely.

Winter Wonder Land.

I'm horrible. This year is already two weeks old, and I'm only starting this up now.

It snowed today. Lots. I listened to Yann Tiersen on the bus to Uni, looking out the window, marveling at the gorgeous, fluffy snowflakes and the snow-covered fences and cars. The snow and the music rushed straight into my head and made me feel free and at ease with myself and everything around me.
I love how snow can make everything look so peaceful. It muffles every step, every sound, and the world is a quiet place for a while.
I decided to walk home after Uni, walk home in the snow. It was good.
That was my remarkable thing.

Oh and also, the Ovo I had at Uni. It was perfect.